To meet me now, you would never know that I have just been through one of the toughest years of my life. I have a beautiful, healthy 8-month-old daughter, an amazing husband and life partner, a nice house, a great dog, and – as of last week – a great job. No, to meet me now, you would think I have the perfect life. And I do…..now. But just six months ago today, we had to say goodbye to our baby girl.
I may never know why we had to go through all that we did. Why are there so many babies born to families that don’t want them? Why are healthy babies born to ladies who smoke or drink – or worse? Why did my body reject my precious babies when I did everything right? I don’t know. I may never know. But I am thankful that we got to have 9 weeks with our precious baby – enough time to make memories to last a lifetime. In fact, when choosing the words for her headstone, we wanted to capture that sentiment. After reading countless phrases, we finally found the perfect one:
Bristol touched so many people in her short time. Her story is one that will be remembered and told for years to come. She was so tough and so brave. I have no doubt that she would have been sassy and spunky just like her sister. The Lord surely got “the best” when He called her back home. This poem gave us great comfort when we were grieving:
God saw you getting tired and a cure was not to be,
So He put His arms around you and whispered, “Come to me”.
With tearful eyes we watched you and saw you pass away,
And although we love you dearly we could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating, hardworking hands at rest,
God broke our hearts to prove to us He only takes the best.
The other poem that spoke to us during that time:
When God calls little children to dwell with Him above,
We mortals sometimes question the wisdom of His love.
For no heartache compares with the death of one small child,
Who does so much to make our world seem wonderful and mild.
Perhaps God tires of calling the aged to His fold,
So He picks a rosebud before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them and so He takes but a few,
To make the land of Heaven more beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult, still somehow we must try.
The saddest word mankind knows will always be “Goodbye”.
So when a child departs, we who are left behind,
Must realize God loves children.
Angels are hard to find.
Finally, for those unable to make Bristol’s memorial service, I wanted to share the letter I wrote for her:
We are so very lucky to have such an amazing angel watching over us! We miss you, baby girl!