Author: Jenny K. Brown

Anyone can find success and happiness, but most of us can't seem to get around the obstacles and roadblocks that are keeping us from reaching our goals. Sometimes we just have trouble seeing the big picture and drawing out that SMART Action Plan. Together, we can create your SMART Action Plan - whether you need to get in shape, find a new job, get better control of your finances, or finally get that house organized. I will be your coach and mentor, uncovering those obstacles that are keeping you from your goals, and coaching you through strategies to overcome them. My sessions are both interactive and hands-on, allowing you to discover the root of your obstacles and to find personalized solutions that work for you.

A Mother’s Guilt

Bristol hugging pillow (Bristol)

I am a logical person who appreciates facts.

FACT: I did everything within my power to have a healthy and safe pregnancy.
FACT: Preeclampsia was not my fault and not even doctors know what causes it.
FACT: Some things are just beyond my control.

And yet, I cannot even express in words the amount of guilt that I carry for getting preeclampsia and being forced to deliver my twin girls at 28 weeks.  To compound the situation, my youngest girl, Bristol, suffers day in and day out as doctors struggle to find a way to heal her sick, undeveloped lungs.  She had a collapsed lung from a pneumothorax about 48 hours after birth, has been on both a jet ventilator and a conventional ventilator ever since.  Despite treatments of surfactant, steroids, and numerous vaso- and broncho-dilators, her overall lung condition has worsened, and doctors now say she has pulmonary interstitial emphysema and chronic lung disease.  As if that isn’t enough, she has contracted a couple of infections – one in her lungs and one in her blood – so they are giving her two antibiotics.  Because she is a fighter and often very restless, doctors also pump her with several sedatives, including morphine.  She is listed as “severely critical” and “unstable”, and her life journey so far has been a roller coaster with a few highs and a lot of very low lows.  When I look at her, my mind races with a million “what ifs”:

“What if I had never gotten preeclampsia?”
“What if I had made it just a few more weeks?”
“What if I had rested more during my second trimester?”
“What if I had eaten better or taken more vitamins?”
And the list goes on….

I even feel guilt for celebrating the successes of my oldest girl, Bella, who has (thankfully) not had any major issues thus far.  She has been breathing on her own and has only a nasal cannula (the same little tube you or I would get if we were in the hospital), which merely provides supplemental oxygen to remind her little preemie brain to breathe.  She has been on feedings of my breast milk through a tube since Day One, was off of TPN (IV supplementation) within about two weeks, and is now practicing latching on for actual breastfeeding.  This week, she began regulating her body temperature much better, so they removed her temperature probe and have allowed her to begin wearing clothes and swaddling in sleepsacks.  These are all things to celebrate…..but I feel guilty celebrating and feeling excitement when I have a sick child who is hanging onto life by a thread.

And at the end of the day, I feel guilty when I become exhausted and want to go home to sleep in my bed.  My girls – and especially Bristol – are fighting for their lives 24/7, so who am I to say I am tired?  But there are days when I just want to stay home and catch up on my sleep.  In addition to the emotional roller coaster we endure as parents of preemie babies in NICU, I am pumping my milk every 3 hours – which means that I haven’t had a full night’s sleep of 7-9 hours straight since before I went into the hospital.  My house is in disarray, I am behind on thank you notes for all of the generosity that has been extended to us, I need to run errands like grocery shopping, I need to take care of some paperwork and such for the girls and I – just a million things that are piling up.  I feel like I just need one day to myself to sleep and take care of all of that – but I can’t bear to miss a day with my girls, and I would feel guilty if I even tried.

As I struggle with my guilt day in and day out, I can’t help but wonder, “Is this just all part of being a good mom?”

Bellas first pjs (Bella)

Not Ready for January Babies

before delivery

Baby showers. Professional pregnancy belly photos. Decorating the nursery. The exciting drive to the hospital for delivery. All very normal things that normal pregnant women get to experience.

I missed out on all of them.

When we found out we were having twins, we were almost instantly also told that twins almost always come early and that 37 weeks is considered “term” for twins. That being said, my doctor’s goal was to make it to 38 weeks (he was a very optimistic guy). As the pregnancy went on and I read more about twins and their moms, our goal was to make it to 36 weeks, but we were prepared for as early as maybe 34 weeks. Given that my due date was April 3 if I were to carry them the full 40 weeks, that meant that our babies could be born anywhere from about mid-February to about mid-March. In my gut, I always knew they’d be earlier than expected or planned, but never in my wildest dreams was I prepared for January babies.

Being the super planner that I am, I began planning WAY in advance – just in case. I created a registry in early November – as soon as we were certain they were girls. At my appointment the week after Thanksgiving, I made a trip on over to the hospital to schedule our tour of the birthing center, where we would get a chance to go ahead and fill out paperwork and such, as well as talk to the staff about our birthing plan, etc. I scheduled it for January 2. A couple of weeks later, I went ahead and scheduled us for our infant care class and our childbirth class – both for the first week in January. Finally, we decided we would stay here in Tennessee for Christmas this year instead of traveling to Kansas, and we would use that time to assemble the cribs and get the nursery all settled. Finally, my mom wanted to come visit for New Year’s, and we thought we could use that time to shop for a gown and robe and other items needed for my hospital bag. Essentially, I would have everything done and completed by about the second week in January, so if the doctor decided at that time to put me on bed rest, that would be fine, because all I would be doing was sitting and waiting for the girls to come anyway.

Then came my doctor appointment on December 20. Due to an abnormally high blood pressure (140-something over 90-something), protein in my urine, and sudden and excessive weight gain (13 lbs since my appointment 3 weeks prior), the doctor sent me immediately over to the hospital from his office. He wanted me to do a 24-hour observation, in which they would try to get my blood pressure under control and do a 24-hour urine to count the amount of protein. Once my 24 hours was up, I was diagnosed with mild preeclampsia and was sent home on strict orders of bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy……which meant all of my plans mentioned above were tossed out the window,

So much for planning and trying to be prepared.

The next 2 1/2 weeks, my preeclampsia escalated very quickly, and on January 7, I was admitted to the hospital for good. Two and a half days later, I gave birth to my girls.

To top it off, I didn’t even get to hold or touch or kiss my girls once they were born. In fact, I didn’t even lay eyes on them until about 36 hours later. They were whisked up to the NICU as soon as they were born, and I was sent back to my room to lay for another 24+ hours with the stupid magnesium drip that left me drugged out of my mind. Once taken off the drip, I had to wait for it to leave my system, and then had to prove to the nurse that I was capable of walking – or at least standing to get into a wheelchair. And THEN I had to prove that I could walk to and from the bathroom so that they would take out my catheter. FINALLY, after all of that, they let me go see my girls.

In many ways, I feel that I was robbed of so many of the joys of pregnancy. And given my experience with preeclampsia, I’m not sure that I will try pregnancy again. I am thankful that I did at least document the six months I did get to enjoy of pregnancy, so I at least have belly pictures (however amateur) to show the girls one day, and I have a very detailed timeline of every pregnancy moment, ultrasound, symptom, etc. At least I have that.

An Unbelievable Story

8.15.12 first ultrasound

You know how there are some people who seem to have everything, or to whom everything seems to come so easily?  I am not one of those people.  While I have certainly had some triumphs and victories in my life, they seem to be short-lived or overshadowed by the fight that follows it.

I have always had to negotiate or fight for everything I’ve attained, or I’ve had to prove myself before given a chance.  I wasn’t the most popular girl in school, but I was friends with those girls.  I wasn’t the smartest kid in the class, but I got close.  I wasn’t the best athlete or most talented singer or dancer, but I held my own and might be considered “above average” in some circumstances.  The most recent fight was a few years ago with losing my job during the recession and the financial struggles that followed, including filing bankruptcy.  After going through that, I finally met my life partner, and things began to fall into place.  We moved in together, and a year later I found out I was pregnant – with twins.  He then proposed to me at Thanksgiving.  I felt as though I could FINALLY begin to enjoy life!  Maybe – just maybe – the Lord wanted me to go through all that I had been through so that I could appreciate the blessings when they finally came.  “Everything happens for a reason”, right?  I could swallow that logic, because Lord knows I had learned a lot about myself and others, and felt I was a much better – and stronger – person for having been through it all.

Then preeclampsia happened.

If you’ve never heard of preeclampsia, it is a condition that can occur during pregnancy.  I’ve seen statistics that say it happens in about 5-8% of all pregnancies.  Leave it to me to fall into such a rare statistic.  No one is really sure what causes preeclampsia, but they have identified some factors that tend to make some women more likely to develop preeclampsia, including having your first child after the age of 35 (check), carrying multiples (check), and having a pre-existing condition with the heart (check).  So what is preeclampsia?  In short, the body begins to reject the pregnancy.  The condition develops after 20 weeks, and is diagnosed by sudden onset of high blood pressure and protein in the urine.  From there, things can escalate very quickly and include severe swelling of the body, fatigue, headaches, visual disturbances (i.e. seeing spots or auras and/or having sensitivity to light), and even higher blood pressure and higher protein counts in the urine.  If not caught soon enough, preeclampsia can escalate to full eclampsia, which includes seizures and can be potentially fatal for the mother and/or baby.

Mine was caught by doctors at 25 weeks, but in hindsight, I think I had early symptoms at about 21 weeks (the week of Thanksgiving).  After 3 weeks of bedrest and missing out on much of the Christmas season, I went into the hospital on January 7th and delivered my twin girls on January 10 at 28 weeks and 1 day.  Today marks two weeks since delivery, and my girls still have a long haul in the NICU.  My oldest, Bella, has been doing well from day one, is breathing on her own with only a nasal cannula on minimal settings to give her a little boost of oxygen, and continues to increase her feedings of breast milk.  However, my youngest baby girl, Bristol, has been struggling since about day two or three – unable to breathe on her own and relying on a jet ventilator which beats her lungs with puffs of air at a rate of about 400 breaths per minute.

Because I like to write, and because we have so many out there that are praying for us and asking for updates, I decided to begin telling my story here on my blog.  Our family and friends have already been receiving updates via Facebook, but even many of them haven’t heard the whole story, or understand what preeclampsia is and what it did to me (and my new little family).  Stay tuned for our story….

6w vs 26w4d

Negotiate Your Best Deal

 

As I have mentioned, I went through a bankruptcy a couple of years ago.  A couple of months after the bankruptcy was discharged, I had to take my car in for repairs.  The following article was written after that experience…

Today, I took my car in for an oil change.  I decided while I was there, I would have them check these pesky lights that kept lighting up on my dashboard – one for tire pressure, one for the vehicle stability assist system.  I had hoped both were covered under warranty.  Unfortunately, they were not covered.  Not only were these not covered under warranty, I was told of two other items I needed to have replaced.  

My first reaction was one of panic.  I just went through a bankruptcy and have just been getting back on my feet with a savings account cushion, and a sizeable chunk was about to be sucked away by numerous car repairs.  I then jumped to anger, because as reason set in, I suspected I might be taken for a bit of a ride.  And then my years of management experience kicked in, and I jumped into negotiation mode.  In hindsight reflection, I realized that not everyone (particularly women) would have been equipped with the skills, knowledge, and reason to negotiate with a service man at a dealership.

Please note here that I was dealing with a service associate – a middle man who relays information from the mechanics to the customer.  Their purpose is to make the customer experience more pleasant by presenting a professional demeanor and appear to be taking care of the customer with a one-on-one approach.  However, a service associate is also somewhat of a salesman, as he takes the mechanic’s suggestions for service and tries to “sell” these repairs to the customer by making the problems sound serious enough for immediate repair.

For me, negotiation has become a survival instinct – a fight-or-flight response that kicks in, particularly where money is involved.  As I mentioned, I just went through a bankruptcy.  I am slowly rebuilding my life on a very limited budget, and while I have a savings for emergencies, I have to ensure that every dollar spent is spent wisely.  But negotiation hasn’t always come so easily for me.  I have had a few wise mentors along the way, particularly in fitness sales (which, let’s face it, are equivalent to our stigma of the “used car salesman” – very aggressive and tell you what you want to hear).

Here’s what I’ve learned about the art of negotiation:   

1.  Identify your needs (versus your WANTS).
What do you absolutely need from this product (i.e. cannot live without)?  Now, what would you like to have from this product, but can ultimately do without if push comes to shove?  Be realistic.  For me, “needs” now equate to survival, and “wants” are things that can wait a while longer.  I need a car that runs well and keeps me safe.  Today, I needed an oil change.  The lights going off on my dash may simply be electrical, and may not be signaling an emergency situation.  I need a mechanic to tell me the difference.

2.  Ask the associate what options you have based on your requests.
Always present your “wants” to the associate as part of your “needs” package.  Go for the gold, as they say…but be willing to settle for the bronze.  But, as in poker, keep your cards hidden.  You have to play it cool and play the cards at the right moment to get the result that you want.  In my case, I requested a full service check, but wanted to know prices before any work was completed.  He came back with a list of prices for my requests, plus two more items that he claimed needed to be replaced.

3.  Be firm…and be willing to walk away.  For real.
I came in expecting to pay for an oil change.  I anticipated some fees for whatever else they may have found wrong, but planned to spend no more than about $100.  His total was $255 – and that was just for a new battery, new brake switch, oil change, and to run diagnostics on the warning lights (there would be additional fees depending on what was actually wrong).  While I have enough to cover all of that in my savings, it would be a substantial blow to me at this point in time.  I live my life on a very carefully planned and maintained budget right now, and that is a large, unplanned expense.  I asked very specific questions about his list of problems: 1) what is the expected life span of the battery (i.e. will it die tomorrow, or will it go for another 2-4 weeks)? 2) what does the brake switch do? 3) what problems absolutely need to be corrected today, and which ones can wait?  I even went so far as to ask if these parts I needed were special Honda parts, or if I could get, say, the battery somewhere else after I shopped around for a better price.

4.  Draw your bottom line.
I then informed the associate that I do not have a credit card, and that my budget for the day is $100.  I asked him to speak with the mechanics again to find out what was absolutely necessary to be safe in my car.  He was concerned that it would take a while longer.  I informed him that time was not important, but that money was important, and that I was willing to wait whatever time needed to find out which services I needed within my budget constraints.

5.  Be patient.
The associate was gone for quite some time, and came back to update me on the situation a handful of times.  My total wait time on the day was over 2 hrs, and the final result was an oil change and installation of a new battery.  I was told the other items weren’t critical and could, in fact, wait until the next time.  They reset one of the warning lights and took it for a test drive to ensure it didn’t come back on – for free.  Total spent today was around $150 – more than I had planned on, but far less than I was told in suggested repairs.

6.  Remember: YOU are in control.
Never lose sight of the fact that you are a paying customer who can (and will) go elsewhere if the associates in front of you aren’t meeting your needs.  As a retail manager, I know the importance of customer satisfaction and loyalty; those associates need your purchase, and they should do everything in their power to ensure you spend your money at their establishment.  Don’t be afraid of the word “no” – to hear it or to say it.  However, do be flexible enough to know when the associate in front of you has truly hit their bottom line.  And either that will be good enough, or it won’t – that is for you to decide (refer back to #1).  But chances are, you still win, because their bottom line is still going to be better than their first offer…and you have saved money.

Time to Trim

About two years ago, I went “public”, so-to-speak, about my financial difficulties.  I chose to share my story because I knew there had to be others out there just like me, only maybe too ashamed to say anything.  I also knew that I had survived my struggles through persistent navigation through the nearly impossible procedures of mortgage loan modification, bankruptcy, and credit card nonsense….but that not everyone would be so persistent, or even know where to begin.  I have been fortunate.  I was one of the lucky ones.

While I do not claim to know all there is to know about the hullabaloo and fine print of this financial crisis, I do feel that I have learned a great deal, and my learnings may help someone else get through their struggle.  In fact, I have already had a handful of people ask “how did you do it?” since I went public with my struggles.  Please know that each situation is unique, and ultimately you should consult with a legitimate credit/debt counseling service or attorney.  However, here are some tips for beginning to trim those things that are ultimately causing you to feel like you are drowning:

1.  Sit down and write out all expenses for every month, as well as your income for each month.
Be honest.  “Fluffing” numbers will only cheat you.  Once you have written down income and expenses, compare what you have listed with three months worth of checking account and credit card statements.  If you are like me, you may think that you have trimmed extras and are living on the bare minimum…but in reality, you are still overspending.  When I really looked into my bank statements, I was amazed at the amount I was spending on eating out and having social drinks with friends.  (Once you have your list, hold onto it, as you will need it later when you begin calling to negotiate rates and fees with credit cards, etc.) 

2.  Trim excesses. (And when you think you have, trim again.)
Stop eating out.  Turn off those premium cable channels.  Stop buying clothes just because they are on sale.  Stop going to movies.  And when you’ve done all of that, take a look again at those financial statements to see where else you can trim.  You will be amazed at the amount of money you’ve been flushing down the toilet on things that aren’t important in the grand scheme of things.  I’m talking hundreds of dollars spent on nonsense – there’s your car payment right there.

3.  Stop using credit cards – period.
Now, if you are like me, the thought of that sends chills down your spine and sends you into panic mode.  But you just have to do it – cold turkey.  Stop using them TODAY, or you will never end this vicious cycle.

4.  Call your credit card companies.
Set aside a couple of hours, because this step will be a process all by itself.  Grab that list that we created in #1, call each company one-by-one, and explain that you are experiencing financial hardship due to _____________ (pick your reason: loss of job, underemployment, pay cut, medical bills – whatever it was that was the straw to break your proverbial back).  Most companies will work with you to lower your rate and put you on a fixed (and many times, lower) payment each month.  However, be prepared that, in order to do so, they will end your spending privileges (again, I refer you back up to #3).  In some cases, your privileges are only revoked temporarily while you are on the payment plan, and once you have fulfilled the terms of the payment plan and/or get back on your feet, they will extend those privileges once again.  Other companies will close the account altogether.  In the latter case, ignore those who tell you this will hurt your credit.  In the long run, you will be better off that you are paying down a debt instead of incurring more.  The benefits you will reap from paying it down will far outweigh any temporary bumps to your credit score.

5.  Call your utility companies and anyone else to whom you pay money each month.
Believe it or not, even your phone and cable companies may have a special payment plan that they can put you on for a limited time while you are working through your financial difficulties – especially if you threaten to leave or turn off the service altogether.  Call them, explain your financial hardship, and see how they may be willing to work with you.  
By the time I talked to all of my credit card and utility companies, I had trimmed another $100-$150 off of my expenses – there’s your electric bill.  Add to that the “extras” of eating out, socializing with friends, and impulse shopping, and I found about $500 to put towards things that were much more important, such as house and car payments, gas, and groceries.  The fact that you have downsized your expenses will counterbalance the fact that you are no longer using your credit cards, especially when most of what you were probably using the credit cards on has now been trimmed from your life.

No one said this process would be easy, but I promise the hard work pays off.  You will have to make sacrifices for a little while, but the dedication and diligence will provide you with more breathing room and more control over your finances (and in the grand scheme, more control over your LIFE).  

Once going through this process of trimming, I found that – even though I was making nearly half the salary I had been making before losing my job in the downfall of the economy – I felt like I had more.  For the first time in my life, I was following a true budget – and it made all the difference in the world between drowning and living.  And now, I am WINNING MY LIFE!

Take Action with a SMART Action Plan

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD A COPY OF THE “TAKE ACTION” WORKSHEET

During a recent coaching session, a client told me that she feels she is being called to help people.  She was reading and soaking up information like a sponge, but really had no direction or focus for how she was going to help people.  During our session, I uncovered that she is passionate about growing herbs and herbal healing.  As she talked about this passion, her eyes lit up, and she was very animated and excited as she went on to tell me that a great grandmother had actually been known in her community as a natural and herbal healing specialist.  By the time we finished her session, we had mapped out an action plan that had specific focus, a time frame to complete a knowledge path for said focus, and her next steps for getting involved in community groups with this focus.

The hardest part of reaching your goals is getting started.  People are often so overwhelmed with the idea of the process that they often just never start.  In order to be successful with any action plan – business or personal – your plan must be S.M.A.R.T. :

S – Specific
M – Measureable
A – Achieveable/Actionable
R – Revise for Relevance
T – Timely

SPECIFIC
A goal must be specific in order to measure success.  If you just say, “I want to lose weight”, your expectation is so broad that you will never know if you reached the finish line.  However, if your goal is to lose 20 pounds, you can set up smaller goals along the way until you reach the 20 pounds.  Now you have focus to your goal and can ultimately measure success.  In the example above, my client started out wanting to “help people”, but by the time we were finished with her session, she had focused her passion into a specific goal of helping others learn about herbal healing.

MEASUREABLE
How will you measure success of your goal?  You should be able to break down your goal into smaller steps along the way by which you can measure continuous achievement.  If your goal is to lose 20 pounds, you may decide that you are going to work for losing one pound per week until that goal is achieved.  In the case of my client, we set some milestones for knowledge of her focus area: attending workshops, going to community classes, and ultimately getting a nationally-recognized certification.

ATTAINABLE/ACTIONABLE
Have you made your goal specific and measureable enough to actually carry it out?  Do you have the resources, including both skill and will, to achieve the goal?  Some people miss the first two steps, and by doing so, set themselves up for failure before they’ve even begun.  Any goal worth achieving is worth having a plan to achieve that goal.  You can’t just jump into it and think you are going to get somewhere.  Take the time to map it out – you will thank yourself later.  Without deciding first that you will strive to lose “x” amount of weight per week by “ABC” actions, you will never reach that 20-pound mark for weight loss.  In the case of my client wanting to help others, she had no end result for which she was working and probably would have floundered about trying to find her place in this world of helping/healing.  By sitting down and talking through the steps of a SMART Action Plan, we were able to give her measureable and achieveable pieces for which to strive and by which to measure success once completed.

REVISE FOR RELEVANCE
You may find along your journey a new direction or insight that takes you on a different path than originally planned – and THAT IS OK.  It doesn’t mean you have failed the original goal.  It just means that the original goal is no longer relevant to where you are at this point in your life.  How many people do you know that are still working in the career field of their college major ten or fifteen years later?  My guess is not many.  We all go to college with one passion or idea of where we want to go in life, but as we experience all that life has to offer, we can often be pulled in another direction.  Such is the case with any goal, so stay open and flexible so that you can revise your plan along the way to stay relevant.  My client may find along her journey to becoming a specialist on herbal healing that she has another passion that is even stronger than her one for herbal healing – and that is OK.  She will just need to revise her plan a little to accommodate the new focus in her life.

TIMELY
Without a time-bound point of completion, how will you ever know if you’ve crossed the finish line?  Choose a realistic time frame by which you would like to complete your goal, which is ultimately just another aspect of measurement.  By choosing a time frame, you are holding yourself accountable to actually getting the goal completed – even if you realize the time frame you have set for yourself needs to be revised along the way (in either direction – shorter or longer).  Choose a time that is relatively soon so that you will have a sense of urgency and motivation to actually get the job done, but that is far enough away that it gives you a realistic time frame for completion.  You will not lose 20 pounds safely in one month, but maybe you can lose 20 pounds in 3-5 months.  Again, stay open and flexible to revise your time along the way if need be, and don’t consider yourself a failure if it looks like it might take a little longer than originally planned.  As long as you are making progress in the right direction, you are successful.

I have a worksheet that I use with my clients in our initial consultation that walks them through a SMART Action Plan.  This “Take Action” worksheet aids in taking a large, non-specific goal that may seem overwhelming to tackle and breaks it down into a Specific, Measureable, Actionable, Relevant, and Timely Action Plan.

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD A COPY OF THE “TAKE ACTION” WORKSHEET

The Flood

I was recently reminded of a fable/joke involving a man in a flood…

Once upon a time, a man was trapped in a flood. In an effort to be rescued, he climed to his rooftop and began praying for the Lord to save him. Along comes a boat, and the people on the boat cry, “Jump in! We’re heading for shore!” The man replies, “No thanks – I’m waiting for the Lord to save me!” The boat leaves. A few minutes later, a helicopter comes by and throws down a ladder. “Climb in,” they shout. The man replies, “That’s OK – I’m waiting for the Lord to save me.” The helicopter flies away. The man eventually drowns, and when he gets to heaven, he says to the Lord, “What happened? I was your faithful servant and I prayed for you to save me!?” The Lord replies, “I sent a boat and a helicopter – what more did you want?”


The point of the story is that sometimes we stand in our own way. The Lord might be trying to throw us a lifeline, but because it’s not in the dramatic, miraculous way that we envision, we let the opportunity pass us by.

I was reminded of this story recently when I was faced with a crossroads in my career path. To quickly fill you in on the backstory, I left my former position as a regional manager with a local chain of fitness centers in September. I hadn’t been happy for several months, and when the economy went sour and I no longer agreed with their principles (or lack thereof), our relationship quickly ended. Given that the economy had depleted the job market substantially, I went back to work with a retail chain for which I had worked previously as a seasonal associate (I knew they were hiring for the Holidays). As luck would have it, within two weeks of being there as a seasonal associate, an Assistant Manager position became available, and I was asked to step in.

I very much enjoyed my position, as well as the team, and I was very thankful to have such a great job – if only through the Holidays. However, my pride was slightly hurt at having to go back to retail (something I left behind years ago as I began to climb the “Corporate ladder”), and my selfish side was inconvenienced by the retail schedule (working weekends, some holidays, late nights, etc). So I continued to search for other opportunities – managerial positions in a “normal” office environment. I even accepted another position with another company – one that promised all the things I was looking for. Meanwhile, my store manager at the retail chain began networking on my behalf within the company, in hopes of finding a position that might keep me with the company.

I hated the new position with the new company, and I realized very quickly that the promises made to me were empty if not outright lies. As I confided my frustrations with my store manager, she began to inform me of upcoming openings and opportunities within the company that would not only provide me with the personal career growth I was seeking, but also with the financial comfort I needed. Once again, my selfish side took over, and I actually considered staying with the awful new position just to have the Mon-Fri schedule I desired versus a position with a company I loved and would, in the long run, provide better stability and growth.

And that’s when I was reminded of the story of the man in the flood. Here I was, praying every night that the Lord would take care of me and provide me with a job that would pay my bills and that I would enjoy…and yet, when I was offered those opportunities, I dismissed them because I was waiting for some dramatic miracle. And then I had a WIZARD OF OZ moment where I realized that I didn’t need to look any further than my own backyard to find happiness.

So I accepted a terrific growth opportunity with this retail chain. And once I let the decision sink in and paperwork and the like made the decision final, I immediately felt a sense of peace. I knew now that that is where the Lord intended for me to be, and now that I had gotten out of my own way and surrendered to the Lord’s Will, I could see the possibilities that were awaiting me….

So get out of your own way, people, and listen to your gut (which often is the Lord trying to tell you something). And if you follow His Will, everything else will work itself out.

Have Faith!

Just “Start”

Like 99% of the American population, I’m sure you’ve got a long mental “to do” list when it comes to improving your life.

“I need to get more organized.”

“I need to start exercising.”

“I need to start eating healthier.”

“I need to start spending more time with my family.”

And the list goes on…..

The problem is that we TALK about these things ALL THE TIME.  We always have that mental list of things we “need to do”- and yet, we’re not getting it done.

For most, it’s because it seems like SO MUCH that even just the THOUGHT of doing makes us tired.  You ever watch “Hoarders” and think “How in the world did these people get to this point?”  The truth is, it wasn’t what they DID, it’s what they DIDN’T do.  If you are a regular watcher, like I am, you know that most of these people had some life situation that was sort of the pivotal point – and things went downhill from there.  A loved one died, the person lost his/her job, a divorce occurred – SOMETHING happened that caused that person to shut down, and he/she just stopped doing.  The “stuff” he/she has accumulated  – as crazy as it sounds – was a comfort. When something very dear to you is ripped away, you try to hold onto anything – and everything – you can, because that’s the only thing you CAN control.

Fortunately, most of us are not in the “hoarders” category, but we still feel like we live in a world of chaos.  We feel overwhelmed by trying to balance work and home, and somehow we’ve let things get away from us – little by little – until the “to do” list has become a mile long.  But the mere thought of even attempting to tackle that list seems too much to wrap our minds around, and so we just DON’T DO.

You know that old phrase “one step at a time”?  As crazy as it sounds, that is honestly all it takes – ONE STEP.  Pick a place – any place – and just START.  I know you’re probably sitting there saying “that’s easier said than done”.  But honestly, it’s not as hard as you think it is.  Maybe today you choose that pile of mail that’s been piling up on the table.  Chances are half of it need to be thrown out, but you just haven’t taken the time to do so.  Maybe tomorrow you choose the coffee table.  I know you think that one thing can’t make that much of a difference, but amazingly, it does. It adds up over time, and after a couple of weeks, maybe that entire living room is done…and you can move on to the next room.

I didn’t say it would be easy.  You will have to muster up courage, patience, and a little focus and determination.  But just like starting a new exercise routine, it will become easier as time goes on – and you will be amazed at the results you are starting to see.  I think of clutter like the “fat” of your house – you got a little lazy and complacent and your house put on a few pounds!  But ignoring those pounds won’t make them go away; they will only continue to accrue if you don’t take action.

So as you try to decide where to start on your list of things to improve in your life, don’t get overwhelmed with how many things you need to work on.  Just pick ONE.  My suggestion is pick the ONE thing that has the greatest effect on your life right now, and start making daily time for that one thing everyday.  Maybe you choose to start exercising – so make 20 minutes everyday to start walking.  Maybe you choose to start eating healthy, but before you overhaul your entire kitchen, just choose one area to focus on – such as taking a multivitamin, cutting down on your potato chip habit, or eating one fruit a day more than what you currently eat (which, sadly, might mean eating ONE fruit a day for many people – but again, it’s a start).  The bottom line is: JUST START.  And take it one step at a time.